He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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