sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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