I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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