How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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