You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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