he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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