Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
