I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
