I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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