nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
