So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
