so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
