You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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