Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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