Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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