You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
