I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
