i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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