i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
