we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
