I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I lost the right to judge tonight
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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