We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's rum buckets o'clock
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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