Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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