1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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