i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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