i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
