I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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