We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
