this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
