I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
