so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
