I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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