omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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