But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm really busy with my period
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