There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
