well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
