you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
