am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
