I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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