Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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