i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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