She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need water and some morals
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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