I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize
