He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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