No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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