All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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