trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
