My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
