We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do herpes really smell.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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