I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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