Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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