Having a random hookup so left but love u
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
