I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
