sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
