my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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