it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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