Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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