cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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