If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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