is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
