Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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