just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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